I see it is fully 9 months since my last post – made when i was in a fully blown Manic state of mind. Time is a great healer and i think i have come out the other side of the intervening depressive months a stronger person.
I am currently a voluntary patient in the Royal Edinburgh Hospital having been admitted on Monday February 27th, 2017 – with the specific plan of undergoing a series of ECT treatment; treatment that my extensive historical health records dating back some 38 years has been shown works for me.
I have never quite believed in ECT but given how long i had been rumbling along the bottom I was persuaded to give it a try. By the time of my admission last week’s Friday ECT list was already full so my first session went ahead as scheduled on March 6th – monday.
I will never forget the feeling as the general anaesthetic permeated up my left arm. But then a surprise – when I came around I was informed that although they had tried four times they had been unable to induce a seizure. The logic being that the PreGabalin medication i have been taking for my anxiety is also used as an anti-epiletiic.
Tuesday started with a full and frank conversation with my psychiatrist, and then a whole series of little incidents. To cut a long day short by the end of the day i had flipped, i no longer felt depressed. I started using Facebook again (ever since its arrival on the scene i have been an enthusiast – indeed I would descrbe it as my main support network)
By Thursday Friday’s ECT session had been cancelled and I was granted 2 hours passes off the ward. In true “patients taking over the asylum” style I have been trying to fix long standing problems on the ward. To date we have
- bought a chess set (£6 oin Amazon)
- bought a new scart cable so the DVD player works (£1)
My first chess partner has now been discharged but others play too (it being a male only ward)
I could do with a bike to get around the city but all in good time. I will be seeing my psychiatrist again on Monday and fully expect to be discharged within a week. My father Michael flies to Shanghai for a week from March 23rd so it will be good to have some time with him at home before he leaves.
My mother Lily is now the proud owner of an expensive new delux wheelchair which will revolutionise her comfort.
I have chosen to leave all my blog entries and facebook posts from my past – i need to accept my past if i am to move forward and rediscover an optimistic view of my future. As my father says:
It is better to be an optimist proved wrong and a pessimist proved right